Beau
(Willia Van Houdt)
18 years to pick me up
from the ground, they never tried
to lift me up
it sometimes made me wonder why
they didn’t dare to simply leave me there to die
18 years, not long enough
the restlessness and awkwardness
of feeling bound
I didn’t choose to live this life
I hate myself as much as I hate you
It took 18 years to free me from these fears
From hiding all those tears
Ruling my world and now my grave
It took 18 years to free me from these fears
From hiding all those tears
Ruling my world
18 years to lift me up
from the bed my mother made for me
it took 18 years to clearly believe and see
that though no longer my hands and feet were tied
I would always end up wired
LIAR: no need to step out of line they said
LIAR: they tried to trample me and now I’m dead
LIAR: no need to step out of line? You should step out rightnow
In your car, I was lucky, well, you know
It felt as if I was free, the great wide open
But the doors, they spoiled my dreams
I could not drive
Start the engine to end this life
18 years just long enough in a life that’s just too rough
I’d really like to trade my body in
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